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| Photo by Julie Gayler |
I know it's completely over due, but I really wanted to write a blog post about the night Raegan was born. They say every pregnancy is different, and every delivery is different. It's very true.
I'll start off with giving a warning: This post may contain graphic details pertaining to labor and delivery. Reader discretion is advised. So here it goes! Raegan's Birth Story:
I had an idea of how I wanted it to be. I wanted to go all natural. No pain meds, no medical interventions. Nothing. When I would tell people that, I got a lot of "you're crazy" looks. This day and age, it's very uncommon for women to give birth naturally, let alone want to. I heard several people say "if the pain meds are there, then why not take them?" Well, my answer could be a whole other blog post in itself, so all I would say is: I've done my research, and I've decided that natural is best for me and most importantly, my baby.
Getting closer to my due date, November 5, I was becoming quite nervous because I've never given birth to a baby before! I didn't know exactly what to expect, how much it would hurt, or what it would feel like. I was also unsure if I could actually go through with giving birth naturally. I had heard of stories where the woman goes in wanting a natural birth and ends up getting multiple medical interventions for whatever reason. I didn't want to end up like that. But I knew that if it didn't pan out the way I wanted, the end goal was most important, no matter how I got there. I just wanted to have my baby healthy, happy, and in my arms.
It all started early Saturday morning around 2:30 a.m. on November 3, 2012. I was 39 weeks and 5 days along, only 2 days from my due date. I woke up having what felt like menstrual cramps. I hadn't felt them for 9 months, but I couldn't mistake that familiar feeling, only this time they were different. They intensified for a few seconds then would go away for a few minutes. I knew they were contractions, but I decided I should just go back to sleep, because if I was really in labor, I would want to get as much sleep as I could in preparation for what was to come.
I began timing the contractions when I couldn't sleep through them anymore. They were irregular, coming every 2 minutes to every 5 minutes and lasting maybe 30 seconds at a time. They weren't too strong either, and at this time I was thinking, if this is it, then this isn't so bad! I obviously didn't know how strong they could be.
At around 7 a.m. I decided to take a shower and get ready to go to the hospital. I just wanted them to check my progress and see if I was ready to have this baby yet. The hospital was just down the road from us a few miles, so it wouldn't be a big deal if they just sent me home if I wasn't ready. When I first got there and had the baby monitor strapped around my huge basketball of a belly, I was only 2 cm dilated. I figured that was better than not being dilated at all, but since I had 8 more centimeters to go, I couldn't help but wonder how long this process would take. They checked my progress after an hour and I was still only 2 cm. Since I hadn't dilated at all in that time, I wasn't in active labor so they sent me home. They told me to come back when either my water broke, I had bloody show, the contractions patterned close together at 2 to 3 minutes apart, or if I couldn't take the pain anymore.
So the waiting game began. Keali'i, my husband, decided to make a hearty omelet and hash brown breakfast when we got home. I decided to eat it. Bad mistake... After only eating half of the omelet, I couldn't hold it down any longer, and I'll skip the dirty details. Sadly, I caused Keali'i to lose his appetite.
As the day went on, my contractions got longer, and stronger, as I expected. I was drinking my weight in water, and I was able to hold a few saltine crackers down. I had to make frequent trips to the bathroom, and when I say frequent, I mean like every 15-20 minutes. I felt like I had the worst flu in the world. I wasn't vomiting, but it was almost just as bad, (if you know what I mean)... Considering how fast fluids were going through me, my husband and I thought I was dehydrated despite how much water I was drinking.
On top of all that, I was still dealing with those contractions. By about 1 pm, they were getting to be unbearable. The pain consumed me. The few minutes between the pain were taken up by me anticipating the pain. It wasn't like any typical "pain" though. I couldn't pinpoint where it hurt; it was just an overall extreme intensity that overtook me. My contractions were still irregular and my water hadn't broke yet. I was delaying going to the hospital because I didn't want to be induced into labor, and I knew that the sooner I went to the hospital the more likely it was for me to end up with an emergency c-section.
The waiting went on, and on. And I slept for maybe 30 seconds between contractions because of how tired and exhausted I was. My husband, meanwhile, felt helpless. I didn't know how he could help me if he tried. It was something I had to do on my own. But I didn't want to do it anymore. I knew the end goal was worth it, and my pain was for a wonderful purpose, but I didn't know how much longer I could do it. My mind began exploring the possibilities I had. Pain relief was just a car drive away. All I wanted was for my baby to be in my arms and for this pain to be over with.
At around 4 p.m. I decided to go back to the hospital and get the epidural. I didn't want to endure any more suffering. Keali'i tried to convince me to stick with my original plan, but the pain was too consuming. Other women had the epidural before with little to no complications, so I knew it was a risk I was willing to take. After laboring for almost over 13 hours, I was ready to be done.
I was admitted to the hospital no problem. Identification bracelets were carefully placed on my wrist. I was escorted up to the second floor in a wheel chair. After putting on my blue hospital robe, I sat down in my tiny bed covered in white sheets. The baby monitor was strapped to my oversized baby belly, and they checked my progress once again. Anticipating the worst, I received comforting news: 4 and a half centimeters! I was about half way dilated. I expressed to the nurse that I wanted the epidural and she told me I could get one, but I had to get an IV, have my blood drawn, and fill out some paperwork. Needless to say, it took forever. By the time an hour had passed, I still hadn't received the epidural. IV was administered and pumping normal saline through my body, my blood work came back normal, and paperwork was completed, but the anesthesiologist still hadn't made it up to my room yet. By this time, my contractions were the worst. Up until now, I had remained rather calm; completely opposite of most laboring women you see on TV shows and over-exaggerating movies. But now, the contractions were the strongest. I lost most of my composure, and being strapped to a hospital bed, unable to move didn't help much.
All of a sudden, a few nurses rushed into my room. They seemed to be concerned with the beeping heart rate monitor next to my bed. They gave me oxygen and told me the baby's heart rate was slowing down with every contraction. I was immediately worried they would have to whisk me away for surgery. I asked them if I had to get a c section, and they told me they didn't know just yet. That was the last way I wanted to give birth to my baby, but a small part of me was a little relieved that the pain would be over soon, and I wouldn't have to push. But eventually, my baby's heart rate was back to normal, and there wasn't any more cause for concern.
My nurse happened to check me again, and she gave me great news. Within the hour it took to get me ready for the epidural, I had dilated to 9 and a half centimeters! In hindsight, my husband and I think that it was the fluids the really helped me progress, since I was so dehydrated laboring at home. My doctor arrived shortly after, and I asked her if I was ready to push. I knew that pushing would bring relief, and soon I would hold my beautiful baby in my arms, and all the pain would go away. My doctor gave me the go-ahead to start pushing. I didn't need the epidural after all!
With every contraction, I pushed. I was able to push about 3 times with each contraction. Between pushes, my doctor kept asking me if I had taken any birthing classes. I told her no. Apparently she was impressed with how I was doing. All I cared about, though, was getting this baby out of me. I had a lot of pain in my lower back, which meant that my baby's head was facing up going through the birth canal. The back of her skull was putting pressure on my lower back. I expressed to my doctor that I was having pain there, and she told me, "push that baby off your back!"
Those words began to motivate me through every push. I knew that in order to be through with the pain and discomfort, I had to give it all I had. Keali'i was right next to me the whole time, giving me words of encouragement. I felt so strong with him by my side. My nurse told me how well I was doing, and it really helped me through being surrounded by positive feedback. And finally, after pushing for an hour and 10 minutes, I gave birth to my beautiful baby girl.
Immediately, the doctor placed her on my chest for skin-to-skin contact. I couldn't believe it was over. She was so beautiful and perfect. My surroundings were merely a blur compared to my baby's wonderful face. The nurses cleaned her up on my chest and placed a little cap on her head. They took her away for only a moment to get her weighed and check her well-being. After that, they gave her back to me, and I was able begin breast feeding her. I held her for a full, short 2 hours before they routinely took her to the nursery.
After filling up on apple juice and hospital food, I felt more alive than ever. I guess all the endorphins pumping through my body masked how tired I really was. And despite my worries, I had a wonderful hospital experience. I was healthy, my baby was healthy, and I was able to accomplish the all natural birth I desired. Would I do it again? Yes. But not for another few years maybe!
Here are some pictures from the hospital stay:
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| Holding my baby for the first time |
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| My 6 lbs 14 oz baby |
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| Bright lights! |
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| Love at first sight |
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| After taking a shower, I felt presentable enough for a picture. I was still puffy from the IV fluids and very tired. |
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| I love catching him looking at her like this. |
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| She became a little jaundiced. |
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| Ready to go home! |
Today, Raegan is now 8 weeks old. She is such a sweetheart, and it's very rewarding taking care of this little being. Now she is starting to respond more to my voice, and she gives the occasional beaming smile. It's amazing how much bigger she is and how much her face has changed. I look forward to seeing her advance every day and recording her little milestones. :)
Love, Lesly
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| Raegan today |
